Columns

August 21, 2019

Like many BDSM practitioners, financial submissives eroticize giving up control

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. My first encounter with financial domination came by way of an instant message on the phone sex platform where I work. A new client introduced himself, asked if he could call me Mistress, and told me that he has been fantasizing about having me drain his wallet. Fortunately […]

August 14, 2019

If you require an emotional connection to feel any sexual connection, you are not alone

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. The term “demisexual” was coined in 2006 on the forums of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), but it’s only been in the last year or so that I started to see it commonly embraced as an identity, especially on social media platforms and dating apps. In […]

August 7, 2019

What to consider before visiting a swinger club

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. I was in the Netherlands the first time I went to a swinger club. Neither my partner at the time nor I had been to Europe, and we had certainly never been to a sex club. Without really knowing what we were getting into, we got dressed up […]

July 31, 2019

Why going into sex work isn’t as easy as it sounds

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. As a writer who openly reflects on my own experiences in the sex industry, I often have folks of all genders tell me that they are interested in becoming sex workers. When I ask them why they are considering sex work, their answers overwhelmingly fall into a category […]

July 24, 2019

A Guide to Being a Good Strip Club Customer Part 2: women and couples

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Last week I talked to three Pittsburgh-based strippers — Eden, Iris, and Sheena — and asked them what people could do to be good customers and to have positive experiences in a strip club. What I noticed in talking to all three of them is that the concerns they had […]

July 20, 2019

A guide to being a good strip club customer

Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Several weeks ago, I found myself in a conversation with a group of Pittsburgh-based strippers who were sharing the nitty-gritty frustrations of customer interactions. It seems important for people to know this stuff, so I decided to reach out to three current and former full-time dancers — Eden, Sheena, […]

July 3, 2019

We need to think about what we say regarding sexual abuse allegations

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. On June 21, columnist E. Jean Carroll published an excerpt from her new memoir, What Do We Need Men For?, in New York magazine, alleging a violent assault by President Trump more than 20 years ago in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room. She joins more than 20 women who have publicly […]

June 26, 2019

How to handle coming out as a 30-something, married bi-sexual

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. I’m a 30-something woman who recently came out as bisexual after years of dating only men. But now I’m wondering how to deal with this new identity, as I’m currently married to a wonderful man. I’ve spoken with my husband about wanting to be with a woman, and […]

June 19, 2019

How phone sex is like a job interview — a very sexy job interview

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Lying on my bed, I talk to a new phone sex client. I am trying to feel out his desires. I ask him about his past, his sexual experiences, and his unfulfilled fantasies. We casually discuss his feelings about his body, what turns him on, and what he thinks […]

June 12, 2019

How Pittsburgh is at the forefront of HIV awareness, prevention, and care

Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Growing up in the 1980s in California, my earliest memories of learning about sex were in relation to the AIDS crisis. As a child, I remember being told how HIV is transmitted, what sort of sex puts you at greater risk, and how to protect yourself against it. While […]