Columns

If you require an emotional connection to feel any sexual connection, you are not alone

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. The term “demisexual” was coined in 2006 on the forums of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), but it’s only been in the last year or so that I started to see it commonly embraced as an identity, especially on social media platforms and dating apps. In […]

What to consider before visiting a swinger club

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. I was in the Netherlands the first time I went to a swinger club. Neither my partner at the time nor I had been to Europe, and we had certainly never been to a sex club. Without really knowing what we were getting into, we got dressed up […]

Why going into sex work isn’t as easy as it sounds

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. As a writer who openly reflects on my own experiences in the sex industry, I often have folks of all genders tell me that they are interested in becoming sex workers. When I ask them why they are considering sex work, their answers overwhelmingly fall into a category […]

A Guide to Being a Good Strip Club Customer Part 2: women and couples

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Last week I talked to three Pittsburgh-based strippers — Eden, Iris, and Sheena — and asked them what people could do to be good customers and to have positive experiences in a strip club. What I noticed in talking to all three of them is that the concerns they had […]

A guide to being a good strip club customer

Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Several weeks ago, I found myself in a conversation with a group of Pittsburgh-based strippers who were sharing the nitty-gritty frustrations of customer interactions. It seems important for people to know this stuff, so I decided to reach out to three current and former full-time dancers — Eden, Sheena, […]

We need to think about what we say regarding sexual abuse allegations

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. On June 21, columnist E. Jean Carroll published an excerpt from her new memoir, What Do We Need Men For?, in New York magazine, alleging a violent assault by President Trump more than 20 years ago in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room. She joins more than 20 women who have publicly […]

How to handle coming out as a 30-something, married bi-sexual

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. I’m a 30-something woman who recently came out as bisexual after years of dating only men. But now I’m wondering how to deal with this new identity, as I’m currently married to a wonderful man. I’ve spoken with my husband about wanting to be with a woman, and […]

How phone sex is like a job interview — a very sexy job interview

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Lying on my bed, I talk to a new phone sex client. I am trying to feel out his desires. I ask him about his past, his sexual experiences, and his unfulfilled fantasies. We casually discuss his feelings about his body, what turns him on, and what he thinks […]

How Pittsburgh is at the forefront of HIV awareness, prevention, and care

Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Growing up in the 1980s in California, my earliest memories of learning about sex were in relation to the AIDS crisis. As a child, I remember being told how HIV is transmitted, what sort of sex puts you at greater risk, and how to protect yourself against it. While […]

The importance of the all the letters and identities of LGBTQIA+

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. June marks Pride Month, a celebration of LGBTQ identities that has its origins in the 1969 riots at Stonewall Inn, famously led by trans activists of color Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson. During the 50th anniversary of the beginning of America’s gay rights movement, it is worth […]

We’ve come a long way since the first International Masturbation Month

Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. This week marks the close of International Masturbation Month. Dedicating time to celebrate masturbation may seem trivial, but the month has political roots that are particularly significant given the current attempts to repress sexual freedom and bodily autonomy. In 1994, after a speech at the United Nation World AIDS […]

Fat models face more online policing despite not violating rules

Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. For a time, social media promised to be an open space that would allow for diverse representations of both bodies and ideas — a digital arena where marginalized folks could build platforms, audiences, and communities. Today, however, regulations are tightening across social media platforms, narrowing these possibilities and […]

Sign up for my newsletter

Get the latest updates from me by signing up for my newsletter!