Dip your toes into voyeurism and exhibitionism at sex-friendly Valentine’s event
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Imagine walking into a public event and seeing a woman furiously riding a recumbent bicycle with a hint of pleasure on her face. Not the kind of pleasure that you get from breaking a sweat while exercising but one that is more akin to masturbating with a vibrator, and […]
Instead of addressing their personal discomfort, men are avoiding women altogether in the workplace
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. At one point in my life, I had a corporate office job, where for a time I was the only female employee at my location. As the only one, I ran into strange problems that my male colleagues didn’t. Most notably, our boss wouldn’t let my colleagues work […]
How do performers pack for the ‘week-long porn camp’ that is the Adult Video Network convention?
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. I’m writing this week from the Adult Video Network convention in Las Vegas. The annual convention hosts both the largest porn awards show of the year and also the Adult Entertainment Expo, where fans can meet their favorite porn stars, attend seminars about the state of the industry, […]
Topless enquirer craves bearded beau
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. One of the most interesting things about writing this column has been interacting with readers who relatively frequently contact me to tell me about how my work relates to their thoughts, feelings, and relationships. Though less common, I also have folks ask for advice. This week, I have […]
‘You’re damned if you don’t look a certain way, and damned if you try to’
Recently I posted a photo of myself on social media, commenting on how I like the gray streaks in my hair and choose not to conceal them with dye. While I was certainly fishing for responses about the aesthetics of my choice, what I didn’t expect were comments on the ethics of my choice. And I definitely didn’t expect […]
Does a sex worker’s ‘sexual circuitry’ get sunk by seas of sexual content?
I read a story years ago about the 1998 AVN awards and there was a bit about how the judges who had to watch hours and hours of film found their sexual circuitry kind of burnt out by the end. Many people can’t imagine being in that headspace for a living. Obviously, you could ask […]
Trunk full of condoms gets important conversation started
As an organizer with the Pittsburgh chapter of the Sex Worker Outreach Project (SWOP), I often receive swag and supplies from some of the organizations we partner with. Recently, Planned Parenthood physicians gave our group several bags of condoms to pass out at events we host. After the meeting, I put them in my trunk […]
Identifying, processing, and accommodating the emotions involved with sex work
I have a client, let’s call him Joe, who has been a regular for at least two and a half years. He calls me every few weeks, and we often text in between calls. He’s in a bowling league, and I keep track of when he’s playing because I like to send him naughty pics […]
Go-go dancer Alicia Lynn is ‘living the Flashdance life!’
Take a moment to imagine a go-go dancer. What comes to mind? Tall boots? Short skirts? A cage? New York? Los Angeles? Las Vegas? This week I got a chance to sit down with Alicia Lynn, a performer who’s making a living as a go-go dancer here in Pittsburgh. Though she started her dancing career […]
Have you locked down your partner this cuffing season?
With the season changing and the temperatures dropping, many of us find ourselves changing our habits. We pull out the warm clothes, start to eat comfort foods, and prepare for the holidays. But do our habits or attitudes around sex and dating also change? Many folks have suggested that, in fact, they change so drastically […]
The complicated questions that come with cancer don’t get any easier the second time around
At my husband’s appointment last week, his doctor turned to us and said, “Do you plan on having any more kids?” We both kind of stumbled. The fact of the matter is that while we haven’t planned on having more kids, we also hadn’t ruled it out. Despite the fact that I am in my […]
If a tree falls on a house and no one is around to mansplain …
During a wild storm on the evening of Halloween, a tree snapped in half in my front yard and fell on my house, taking out my electrical meter and box, my awning, roof shingles, the gutter, and a few other things. The fact that we were displaced from our house for four days was somewhat […]