Sapiosexuality should not be viewed as a derisive term
Several years ago, I had a brief, albeit steamy, romance with a man I met on OkCupid. At the time, he was writing a dissertation on religious symbolism in medieval Europe. After several days of texts exclusively about our research interests, I invited him over. When I opened the door, he lifted me onto the […]
Forget sexy-time foods, the best aphrodisiacs come from the real relationship work
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Recently, I was asked what sort of natural aphrodisiacs, such as specific foods or scents, work to heighten sexual arousal and increase libido. I had to admit that I really don’t know because, other than passing cultural references to things like oysters and chocolate, I had never given aphrodisiacs […]
Why you should pay for the porn you watch
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. A few years ago, after a well-attended academic talk on the porn industry at the Adult Video Network Convention in Las Vegas, I was chit-chatting with several porn scholars. One said, with a great deal of confidence, “The phone sex industry died because of free porn.” This was […]
Finding the freedom to ‘fuck like an animal’
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. When I was first starting to have sex as a teenager in the mid-90s, Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” was like a generational anthem. I have vivid memories of having sex in a car in a park-and-ride, the bass of that song reverberating throughout the vehicle. I have since […]
Q&A with the partner of a sex worker — my husband
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Given that I am very open about both working in the sex industry and being married, I am often asked by journalists, podcasters, non-sex working friends, and (sometimes) clients how my husband feels about my work. I find these questions difficult because he is integrated into much of […]
Working beyond the stigma of the ‘tainted and discounted’ identity that often accompanies sex work
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. The [Ancient] Greeks […] originated the term stigma to refer to bodily signs designed to expose something unusual and bad about the moral status of the signifier. The signs were cut or burnt into the body and advertised that the bearer was a slave, a criminal, or a traitor […]
Author of Sex in Recovery: A Meeting Between the Covers urges patience and mindfulness
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Every September, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration sponsors Recovery Month in order “to increase awareness and celebrate successes of those in recovery.” One of the things that is often left out of conversations during this month, however, is the particular challenges related to sex that often […]
Unsolicited input stresses reader’s exploration of polyamory
Originally Published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Dear Jessie, After being monogamous for many years, my wife Jasmine and I decided to open up our marriage. While she wants to remain monogamous, she has been very supportive of my desire to explore polyamory and of my relationship with my new girlfriend. She is not, however, […]
A project that started as ‘fun cartoon porn’ has evolved into a thought-provoking movement
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. The first time I remember having images of my body drastically altered was right after my first wedding. As a gift, my husband’s mother had a couple of our wedding pictures airbrushed. I was shocked when the pictures came back – not because they were bad, they actually […]
Tips for navigating parties, relationships, and sexual health for college freshman
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Dear college freshmen, For many of you, this is the first time you are living away from home. This newfound freedom will open up new opportunities for romantic relationships and sexual exploration. While this is really exciting, it can also be overwhelming and scary! To help you navigate […]
Joan Price on normalizing senior sex and the strategies for enjoying it
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. When I was growing up, every year on her birthday, my grandmother would declare that she was once again 39. What this taught me as a child was that growing older was so terrible that we had to pretend that it didn’t happen. While it may be outrageous […]
Like many BDSM practitioners, financial submissives eroticize giving up control
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. My first encounter with financial domination came by way of an instant message on the phone sex platform where I work. A new client introduced himself, asked if he could call me Mistress, and told me that he has been fantasizing about having me drain his wallet. Fortunately […]