“What are you into?” It all depends on context.
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. In my line of work, I get asked a lot of questions about my sexual preferences and history and most of them don’t bother me. Except for one: What are you into? This question isn’t unique to my work; I remember when I did more online dating I got […]
Sapiosexuality should not be viewed as a derisive term
Several years ago, I had a brief, albeit steamy, romance with a man I met on OkCupid. At the time, he was writing a dissertation on religious symbolism in medieval Europe. After several days of texts exclusively about our research interests, I invited him over. When I opened the door, he lifted me onto the […]
Forget sexy-time foods, the best aphrodisiacs come from the real relationship work
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. Recently, I was asked what sort of natural aphrodisiacs, such as specific foods or scents, work to heighten sexual arousal and increase libido. I had to admit that I really don’t know because, other than passing cultural references to things like oysters and chocolate, I had never given aphrodisiacs […]
Finding the freedom to ‘fuck like an animal’
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. When I was first starting to have sex as a teenager in the mid-90s, Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” was like a generational anthem. I have vivid memories of having sex in a car in a park-and-ride, the bass of that song reverberating throughout the vehicle. I have since […]
Why going into sex work isn’t as easy as it sounds
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. As a writer who openly reflects on my own experiences in the sex industry, I often have folks of all genders tell me that they are interested in becoming sex workers. When I ask them why they are considering sex work, their answers overwhelmingly fall into a category […]
We’ve come a long way since the first International Masturbation Month
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. This week marks the close of International Masturbation Month. Dedicating time to celebrate masturbation may seem trivial, but the month has political roots that are particularly significant given the current attempts to repress sexual freedom and bodily autonomy. In 1994, after a speech at the United Nation World AIDS […]
Being clear about your needs is the key to a satisfying sex worker experience
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Dear Jessie, Do you have any advice for a 29-year-old virgin with Asperger’s syndrome and not a lot of money? I have never had a romantic relationship with a woman, and it is a little hard. I have thought about saving up and seeing a sex worker, though […]
The ins and outs of cannabis-infused lube
Originally published in the Pittsburgh City Paper. Melody Kush was on vacation with her husband in Spain the first time she decided to try cannabis-infused lube. “We were out for a night on the town and found a shop that sells weed lube, made with sativa oil!” she said. “We went back to the hotel […]
Trans Rights Must Be Protected
Originally published in Pittsburgh City Paper. In Allegheny County, any transgender person seeking to legally change their name and gender marker schedules a hearing with Judge Christine Ward. Once a month she conducts a closed-door court ceremony where each person gets to come forward with their family or support persons and be legally recognized for […]
